went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
