i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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