I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Girls should come with a carfax report
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
