Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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