Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
