Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(225): View more from Louisiana

This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.

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(602): View more from Arizona

the head trauma was worth the blowjob.

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(585): View more from New York

you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..

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(775): View more from Nevada

May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.

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(607): View more from New York

Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something

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