The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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