And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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