4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
