working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize