It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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