It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
