My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
