Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im holly from the hills drunk
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
