i just sent this text using only my big toe
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
