butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
