who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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