do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
