i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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