a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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