am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
His nipple licking is glorious
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