Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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