I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
A bitchslap is in order.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
