Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
