quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
