Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
