nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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