I take back everything I said about communal showers
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
