i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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