oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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