just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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