I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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