I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
