He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
is wine microwaveable?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
