I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
