I CAN MOONWALK!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
