So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
