I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Everyone says I win the strip club
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
