you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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