Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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