yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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