god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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