walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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