my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
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