ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
