yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
