your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Four minutes until I can fart!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
