I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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