Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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