i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
