so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize