So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
