Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
