I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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