i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
