Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
