Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
