he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
