Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I don't think brook has ever known best
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
