And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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