My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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