do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
