oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
